I’m not someone who goes in for all these national and international celebratory dates in a huge way, particularly if they have a ‘fun’ name like Veganuary or TaylorSwiftember*. I can sympathise with people who say things like, “You can’t swing a cat in this country without hitting a National Cat-Swinging Week”. So I wasn’t really planning to mark April’s Autism Awareness month.

Then, last week, I encountered a medical professional who, when asked to make a patient referral for an autism assessment, laughed dryly and said, “Everybody wants an autism diagnosis these days,” adding that it was putting too much pressure on NHS waiting lists. Having worked for the NHS for several years, I understand a little of that pressure and I know that professionals are doing the best they can to get through the 170,000-plus people currently waiting for an assessment. 

But the fact that waiting lists are long (and in some areas not reducing) is not a good enough reason to say that we should just stop being autistic or stop wanting to find out if we are. Unfortunately, there are some areas of support in the UK which depend on having a specific diagnosis. It’s not right, of course — everyone’s needs should be individually assessed and respected —- but that’s the way it is for now.

It’s not just about getting support though. It’s about being accepted, understood, believed, validated… all things that you really need when you’ve lived any portion of your life feeling like you’ve been speaking the wrong language, reading the wrong guidebook and becoming increasingly traumatised by the way the world impacts on you physically and mentally every day. 

That’s not to say that anyone has it easy at the moment. We all have our problems. But we also all want to find a way to understand each other’s perspective, so that we can live the best life we can — alongside each other, with an acceptance of all our similarities and differences.

*I made this one up.

TOP 5 TIPS for Autism Awareness Month:

• Be curious about someone’s experience rather than let your preconceptions cloud your responses. Allow someone to be autistic, without judgement, whether they are diagnosed yet or not.
• Please don’t say, “You don’t look autistic”. There isn’t a dress-code. 
• We aren’t all on the spectrum. People get confused about this because autism is a condition which exists across a spectrum, meaning that people who are autistic can be affected by the condition in a range of ways. People who are neurotypical are not on that spectrum, even though they may at certain times experience some of the traits described in screening tests.
• When we seem rude or have a meltdown, it is usually because in those moments we don’t have the energy to mask what we are feeling underneath. That isn’t an excuse for behaviours that hurt or upset others, but it is an explanation of what has led to those behaviours. Understanding those triggers is beneficial for everyone.
• Please don’t assume we can’t be autistic because we have friends or we show empathy or we are articulate or we have a sense of humour. None of these things alone are evidence against an autism diagnosis, and just like neurotypical people – we are not all the same.