My palms are sweating, I want to be sick and run far, far away. Why, oh why, did I think this was a good idea, something that I should be doing? Every fibre in my being is telling me to get out of here as quickly as I can…. NOW!!
Yet I keep on walking forward and trying to tell myself it will be OK. My tummy really doesn’t agree; it’s churning away in a horrible fashion.
Have I signed up for some monstrous Halloween experience this October?
No, I haven’t; all I’ve done is arrive at a networking event. Yet at this moment, my body is reacting to this event in the same way it would if you were terrorising me with all the ghouls and ghosts you could come up with in an isolated back alley somewhere in the pitch dark.
Learning to Talk About What I Do (Without Feeling Icky)
Let me back up a little and share some background with you. I run a business, I run Sycamore Online Business Management. I know from what clients tell me that we do excellent work that enables their businesses to drive and grow in a way that they weren’t able to before. We have enabled clients to win contracts they have previously failed to win five times. We have created and then launched digital courses for clients. We have coached clients to understand who their target audience is so that they can then position themselves in front of that niche. I know that we are good at what we do – the feedback demonstrates this, and yet the idea of going into a room and talking to people about our work has left me feeling sick.
For me, it’s not imposter syndrome; it’s a dislike of self-promotion. If I explore that dislike further, it has something to do with speaking to strangers about what we do. I don’t find it easy or natural. As an employee, put me in an annual appraisal and I was very comfortable telling my boss what I had achieved and how good the results had been. But for a room full of strangers, it feels icky, forced and unnatural.
Fast forward 9 months, and I’ve now been part of a networking group that I enjoy and have secured clients through, so how did I get to this point?
Virtual & In-person Networking?
The networking group that I’m now a part of and enjoy is a virtual one. We meet weekly virtually, but once a month in person, and we can join those in-person meetings virtually instead if we prefer. For me, joining a mainly virtual group was a great way to build confidence around networking. The bits of networking that I struggle with are reduced. When I don’t know people, I find it hard to walk into a room and make conversation with people, but virtually, this isn’t a challenge.
Having got to know people virtually, I now really enjoy meeting with them face to face and find that the relationship is a deeper, more useful one when I meet face to face with people.
The Elevator Pitch
The dreaded introduction to a new group of people at a networking meeting, which normally happens at the start of any networking event. Everyone takes a turn to explain what their business does in around one minute. I’ve realised this needs practice, planning and persistence.
I used to go to events, somehow imagining that a perfect 1-minute pitch was going to come out of my mouth totally unhearsed. I’m not sure how I imagined that was going to happen, but the results were predictably awful. Now I have a script that I read every week. Sometimes I tweak bits of it, but normally it’s just that same crafted message.
I found it really useful to share my 1-minute pitch with someone who had no idea what Sycamore did. I then asked them to tell me what they thought Sycamore did, based on what I had said. They then told me more about what Sycamore did. They had completely misunderstood, or rather, my pitch wasn’t clear.
So I tweaked and refined it many times, till it did exactly what I needed it to.
Read our guide here on Mastering the Elevator Pitch for Neurodivergent Entrepreneurs
Clothes and Appearance
For me, planning out what I will wear to an in-person networking event a week before reduces the stress of the event. The right clothes can leave me feeling confident and ready for anything. Appearing in the wrong clothes (whatever I perceive that to be) pulls my confidence right down and makes me want to hide. I have totally asked people what their dress code is, or scrutinised promotional pictures of previous events to try and ensure I’m wearing the right things, but what is business casual anyway?
This may be completely different for you, if you have a work ‘uniform’, whether that be an actual branded top or simply an outfit you wear to work each day, with the odd variation on colour.
Presentations
In my networking group, each week one of the members presents on a topic for 10 minutes. I’ve now watched lots of these. The best are image-heavy, text-light, personality-filled presentations. That delivers real value to those in the room, while also explaining what your business can achieve for its customers.
Networking Small Talk
After the presentation, we then go into 121 groups for 10 minutes to talk further with one other member of the networking group. I now really enjoy these. Talking to others about the challenges you are facing can be helpful; talking to them about their challenges or successes is similarly useful. It’s also a great way to just get to know them as people and deepen your relationship.
Meeting New People
Prior to networking, I used to assume that everyone in the group would be horrible. I remember coming home repeatedly surprised – “actually they were all nice” I would think to myself “they were all interested and friendly”.
I realise now that if you aren’t interested in meeting other people and are generally friendly, you are unlikely to go networking.
Structure
I love love structure – particularly in unknown situations. To know the agenda, what will happen and when, is really helpful for me. It calms my anxiety. If anyone out there is forming a new networking group, think about how you can make the structure of your group calming for your guests.
Not knowing where to sit in face-to-face networking groups is challenging for me. Place cards telling me where to sit make me happy. Reducing informal chit-chat time is another way of reducing my stress. 10 minutes to grab some coffee, have a quick chat and then sit down is quick enough. If people want a 30-minute chat, they could book a 121 with just the two of them. Don’t create situations where new people are left hoping that someone is going to talk to them.
Building Confidence
With anything, confidence doesn’t just come overnight. It takes time to build and develop. Realising that I was on a journey to being more confident about networking helped. It enabled me to take my time and feel my way a bit more and be OK with that.
When my kids tell me they are rubbish at stuff, I sometimes ask them how many times they have done the thing?
They will say, well I tried it and I couldn’t do it, so I don’t want to do it anymore.
I then remind them that when they first started cycling, just like when I first started networking, we were both rubbish at it. In time, we developed skills and techniques, and now we really enjoy it.
0 Comments